Beate and I took our last walk on Monday morning. She ran ahead of me, as always, and wagged her tail while sniffing away, as always. Looking back to make sure I was still behind her, still walking in the direction she wanted to go. As always.
It was icy, but she navigated Obed Lane with more sureness than I did. She was patient and waited for me to catch up before she gave a little jump and off she went again. Maybe it was her four feet and lower center of gravity, maybe it was her version of walking on water. Either way, it was a perfect little walk. We spent a great last day together. She ate well and played hard (with her chew toy, her cat boyfriend Loki, and with me, her lucky human).
But after a good day came a bad night and then the longest eight hours that I can ever remember. And then peace, for her. Deep pain for the human. And for many other humans who love both beast and me. The choice to end her suffering was no choice in the end, and the sign that I'd needed was clear; no questions and universal answers. Beate lived up to her name more than I could have ever imagined, and the wealth of experience, memory and soul that she brought to my life will bring much joy for many many more years.
The pain will pass, and soon enough the memories will bring me the peace that we both deserve. That we all deserve.
